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Monday, March 3, 2008

Divorce: A Moro’s Woman’s Perspective

I am a Muslim lady living in a predominantly Christian country - Philippines. As such, I have the privilege to follow both the Philippine laws and the Islamic laws named Shari’ah law. There are instances that these two laws are in contradiction. One of which is the legality of divorce.

Divorce is permitted in the Shari’ah law but not in the Philippine law. In the Philippines, we only have annulment and legal separation to legally dissolve and nullify marriage. The former is a very tedious process that demands a great deal of money and effort and can even go on for an eternity. The latter on the other hand is a temporary separation which does not guarantee complete freedom. I strongly believe that it is about time for divorce to be legalized in our country if and only if the grounds are justifiable and strong enough such as battery, negligence of either or both sides, incapacity in all forms, concubinage and adultery.

First, why does the couple have to prolong their and their kids’ agony and continue to roast themselves in their own hell? Why do they have to stay in hell when they can reach heaven? Why do they have to continue being married when it brings nothing but the worst in them?

Let us take battery as an example. Some people who are against divorce are claiming that having separated parents will definitely have negative psychological effects on their kids. But do constant, regular and habitual brawls and fights or worse physical violence not have psychological drawbacks on them? Exposure to physical and verbal abuse will undoubtedly make the, emotionally unstable and traumatized.

Second, no offense meant my Christian brothers and sisters; it is a known fact that divorce is not legal here for a mere reason the Philippines is a predominantly Christian country. And divorce is against Christian teachings right? But let us take a look at Spain and Italy. These countries are shelter of the Christian faith, but divorce is legal in them. So, I really can not see a logical reason why should the Philippines not do the same thing and legalize divorce?

I completely understand that the Filipinos are afraid of the possible proliferation of the Britney Spears- like wedding which lasted for only 24 hours. But we have to see the brighter side of the coin. We have to consider a lot more important grounds than just an isolated case of a very short- lived marriage.

Last, we live in a real not ideal world. Ideally speaking, one should not say the marital vows if one is not emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually and financially prepared. But the reality is, a lot of people commit the mistake of saying “I do”. A lot even more are forced into it, either by parental, peer or their partner’s pressure. So, why not give them the chance to correct their mistake and liberate them from the shackles that will eventually destroy their and their children’s lives. In these modern days, it is not really bad to be idealistic. But it is far better to be realistic.

I hope a lot of people will come to their sense and realize that it is time to legalize divorce in the Philippines.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i agree with your grounds ms. benito, BUT then let us face the fact that people today are abusive-and-the-like. if divorce will be legalized here in the Philippines then do you think marriage will be as important as it is today(or should i say, somehow?)?? as you said, let us be REAListic. Don't you think marriage will be a way for boys&girls to get whatever they want from their partners if divorce will be legalized??
Marriage is something that every person must think of. It involves not only the persons who will get married but it involve lives. LIVES ms. benito..
what if kids are born and then all of a sudden, the couple agreed to have a divorce? Isn't that saying that they can abandon their kids just like that?? anytime??
it is still best that couples must always be reminded that marriage is something they have to value. i see divorce as just one way of persons running from their problems. they chose to get married (which means, they chose to be with each other FOREVER) so let them face the consequences. that is why marriage should not be done "just like that"... they have to think all over. they have to fight for their rights (if there's a case like this), they should do everything they can do.. everything.. before they're tied up to their partners.
all im saying is that.. marriage is like dying. u can never turn back. it is the end line of your life and the start of another life. and from this, you have to do everything to make things perfect. and if you can't, then you have to face the consequences.

you see, it is what oldies had always been trying to tell us when we are still young up til now. think twice before doing something. and in marriage?? i say, u think thousands of times. it is not just something you can run out with.

it is still best that couples should know that divorce isn't existing legally here in the Philippines so, at least, they can fix things when some thing's wrong.. so at least, they know the consequences even before deciding to get married.

i hope i won't be faced into the same problem when i get married in the later years. hehe!

thank you.

kabukee said...

thank you so much for posting... your points are also strong. there are always pros and cons in every little thing we do..that is why i said if and only if the grounds are justifiable, then divorce in the philippines should be legalized..

thank you and your welcome.

who eLse?
jam